Three Things: I would tell my 25 year old self

Last week, on a whim,  I asked a simple question on IG stories.

“What advice would you give your 10-years-younger self?”

I had soooo many good responses, ranging from serious to silly, and appreciate everyone who participated. Love it when the “social” part of social media really works!

After reading everyone’s advice and mulling it over all day, I finally threw in my own two cents. Here are three things I would tell my 25 year old self–

Believe people when they tell you who they are (and quit trying to change them.) This is a take on Maya Angelou’s great quote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” People tell you who they really are through so many ways and not often with words. Learn to read the clues and accept them for who they are, right then. Use wisdom in who you trust. It is not your job to change them. It is not your job to save them. You can care for people, you can pray for them, but only the One who made them can truly change them.

Stop spending money to make yourself feel better. Save! On another note, the thing you CAN save is cash money! Stop spending money on clothes and makeup and “going out” to ease the pain and hardship you are experiencing. Those small purchases (the $4 latte and $3 magazine) are entirely used up in mere minutes and don’t actually make you feel better. Instead, take steps toward the creative pursuit: learn about what you like to make, cultivate that thing, and then actually do it (often.) Creation over consumption. It won’t be perfect, but it sure is fun! And free, usually 🙂

Asking for help is not weakness. Yes, I know you loathe asking for help for just about anything, but put down that pride and get over yourself. There are so many good people and useful resources all around you waiting to come to your aid…you just gotta ask. In matters of relationships, career, creativity, financial help, whatever- there is wisdom and experience from others that will benefit you, especially at this young age. You’ll never gain it by not asking, so it’s always worth a try! And as you learn, be willing to do the same for those coming up after you.

I don’t like to live in a way that harbors regret, but had I learned these lessons early, I would have avoided some early-life pitfalls. Navigating our twenties is kind of all about that, isn’t it? We are simply figuring out who we are going to be and learning it all through hard-won lessons.

What about you…what advice would you give your 10-years-younger self?