A Slow Walk

a slow walk.png

Sometimes you write a blog post after weeks of feeling brain-dead and exhausted and it takes hours to write because of the many, many interruptions that happen in the life of a mom and wife and it takes real concentration and just a small glass of wine to finally finish. And then, even after years of use and faithfulness, the blogging platform has a moment and completely loses said post. I could have cried, lemme tell ya. I could have succumbed to the feelings of utter defeat.

But you know what? Instead, I chose to let it go.

Instantly I felt a thousand times better and like I somehow skipped ahead in the game, just completely bypassed the anger or frustration or whatever I was supposed to feel. It was great!

And then, I realized two things. First, I told myself to get up tomorrow (I had finished the post close to midnight) and write again. To keep at it. Keep writing. Never stop. I knew instinctively that in order to embrace this part of me, the creative side, I would have to be okay with loss now and then. Okay, lesson learned. Moving on.

The second thing was, Wow! I was changing! Even though the last several months, and in some ways years, have felt like a slow walk without arriving anywhere new…this wasn’t actually my reality. What was really happening was slow, yes, but a slow and steady move toward who I was called to be- who I’ve thought about and pictured myself becoming- this gradual changing of my character.

Do I want to be patient? Do I see myself as a leader? A true friend? A champion for others? Someone who chooses love? I see these labels in my head, like files in a folder, needing to be organized. But how much better is the love of God that his gentle Spirit guides me toward the areas I most need to work on in that moment? And yes, he is strong like a rock, but he is also ever moving forward, like a river that slowly changes the landscape around it with its quiet strength.

Where ever you are today, be encouraged that growth and change are happening, even if it seems slow (or non-existent.) Ask God to give you little glimpses into how he sees you- his excitement for your life and who you are becoming. Let your Creator and heavenly Father -who knows you best- connect with you in a way that you can get…he knows how to speak your language, because he made you that way.

And please check back and keep me accountable to keep writing! I appreciate you!

 

 

Take and Eat

take and eat.png

The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. (Gen. 3:6, NLT)

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” (Matt. 26:26)

—————

When Jesus takes the bread in to his hands, breaks it, and says to his disciples, “Take and eat; this is my body,” the connection to Eve’s moment of “taking and eating” of the fruit in the garden becomes clear. As W.S. LaSor says about that awful moment in the garden, “So drastic the results…so hard the undoing.” The work that Jesus was preparing to do on the cross, the awful reckoning that would soon happen after this evening meal, was a type of reversal of the “work” of sin that happened at the fall.

When we, as believers, partake in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus (bread and wine, the earthly symbols of communion standing as a reminder of this), we accept the reversal of the curse through Him. This thought is mysterious because it is a spiritual work, but one that I’m in the throes of experiencing and continue to understand in an ever-unveiling kind of way. This exchange is holy and yet, it has tangible effects, like something invisible that moves over the water, causing ripples for as far as the eye can see.

The word pictures used throughout the New Testament encouraging us to “stay rooted” and “remain in Me” and “remain in the vine” look different when we consider that being in Christ means taking on His nature- one that was sacrificial. Our culture wants to entice us with the promise of a return for ourselves (what’s in it for me?) but if we “take and eat” the body and work of Christ, then we are taking on the sacrificial nature of the lamb. Do we even understand this?

Because we are all complicit in that early scene of temptation- my desire for self-awareness was there, my urge to know it all and be the center of everything was there, and so was yours- we require one to reverse the thing that happened. Jesus takes the loaf of bread, tears off a piece, extends an invitation. Take and eat.

When we come to the table, it is a serious exchange, but one that ultimately leads to the resurrected life.

4 Ways to Get Work Done

4 ways to get work done

Somehow, I’ve found myself in yet another season of discipline, but this time more specifically, self-discipline. Because I am pursuing my undergrad entirely online, it forces me to get serious about a couple of things. Here are a few ways that help me stay on task and get work done.

  1. Make a schedule, stick to it. Generally I like to work in a loose schedule -my day has touch points of getting stuff done, but with a lot of room for flexibility. Or, ya know, entirely deviating from those touch points, depending on the day. But because I am now accountable to assignment deadlines, childcare schedules, etc, it helps to have clear deadlines. Alarm to get up in the a.m. (and actually get up!), alarm to leave the office and head home. Give myself a clear “lunch hour” and “afternoon-coffee-half-hour” to get some fresh air and to get errands done. As much as possible: Respect the schedule.
  2. Hard stuff first. I was reminded of this recently while listening to Monocycle, one of the Man Repeller podcasts, when Leandra’s husband mentioned that he did this as well…basically you get the hard stuff done first thing. For me that usually means making dreaded phone calls (and by dreaded I mean, any phone calls) in the morning. This also includes writing blog posts or papers…I love to write, but it is hard work!
  3. The Mighty To-do List. I’ve tried a few to-do lists apps and still haven’t found one that just clicked…so I’m back to OG style, using a small lined yellow pad and pencil and numbered lists. At the start of the week I’ll number all of my assignments and deadlines and then relish the feeling of marking a nice black line through them as they are completed. For things like grocery lists and songs to look up and random thoughts while driving, I’ll just use the unpredictably fun combination of the Evernote app and Siri.
  4. Task and reward. So simple, but oh so good. I’ll just pair a difficult or dreaded task with some kind of equal reward. As in, finish this chapter of reading and then zone out on Instagram for 2 min. If it is something challenging or brain-draining, I’ll work until a certain time and then “reward” by watching a Lisa Eldridge video and grabbing a snack.

Those are just a few ways that work for me, but please let me know in the comments (or on Instagram, duh) some of your little tricks to get stuff done! And now that this task is done, I’m gonna go see whats up online and probably post a photo of something dumb.

What I Believe

What I Believe

You know what I believe?

I believe that you can be an intelligent, curious, and deeply spiritual woman and also get a kick out of a great shade of lipstick. I believe that you can think well and do well and still dress well.

I believe that my worth is measured and spoken by the One who made me, so I can stand up and speak confidently. I believe that boldness comes from a place of sacrificial living and courage is rooted in love.

I believe that we are women, who have given birth and started businesses and served the poor and created beautiful things and solved problems, who deserve respect.

I believe that it was God’s idea to bring forth womanhood and it was good.

I believe that the world will always try to diminish us, but the Father of lights will lavishly fulfill us. I believe that perfection will continue to be sold to us, but that His love is truly perfect.

I believe that we are made whole only through His work in us. I believe that He has great plans for us and will display His glory through us.

I believe that we can be the very unique, vibrant, unrestrained version of ourselves in His presence. I believe that we will find real freedom there.

photo by Jamie Brown

 

Stuff I Like

Stuff I Like.png

I know this is like *really inspired* but I thought you might like to know what I’m in to these days. I enjoy hearing about what others are in to- be it podcasts, books, beauty products, or secret breakfast spots, I like to be in the know.

So I’ll share some of my likes and you can tweet or comment me some of yours. That way, we’ll all be in the know and no one will be left out. Like I tell my 4 year old, it’s more fun to share!Continue reading “Stuff I Like”

But We Trust

But We Trust

After years of living in almost every corner of Nashville, separately and then together after we married, Michael and I finally moved out to the country.

We have coyotes in our back field and limited internet service and beauty as far as the eye can see. We only have two neighbors and one of them actually goes to our church. I love the drive down our country road, dotted with wildflowers on both sides, and the little country farm stand selling watermelons and tomatoes on the honor system.

Continue reading “But We Trust”