Too Late?

illustration Michelle Rial _Too Late

This illustration by Michelle Rial made me smile because, as I’ve hinted at recently, I deal with this fear a lot.

I’m staring down my email inbox on a Monday morning, organizing my class workload for the week, and wondering if it’s too early to make myself a second espresso (it’s 9:30am, I think not.) This isn’t what I thought my mid-thirties would look like. Being back in freaking college? All the lol’s.

But when I saw Michelle’s image this morning, it reminded me of the moment when I decided to change course. It was about five years ago. I had two very sweet and small (and energetic!) little boys and a growing career as a media makeup artist. I was getting jobs, and the kind that I wanted to do, but the juggle between freelance life and motherhood was becoming too much. I knew that I wanted to work, to contribute to society in a larger way, but the fit of makeup artist life wasn’t the right one for me anymore.

I read Jon Acuff’s Start that summer while sitting on my front porch watching the boys eat popsicles and chase bugs. The whole book is a funny and motivating kick in the pants, but this quote pretty much sums up Jon’s message,

“You don’t need to go back in time to be awesome; you just have to start right now. Regretting that you didn’t start earlier is a great distraction from moving on your dream today, and the reality is that today is earlier than tomorrow.”

His book was a tool in helping me to navigate that moment– one that I could sense by the Spirit was the right move to make, but was nerve-wracking nonetheless. I decided that summer to retire from the makeup artist path and to go back to school.

I would be lying if I said that I haven’t looked back…I have doubted my decision at times, but not for the reasons that you might think. I don’t miss the hustle of working as an artist, but I do miss the collaborative work of a creative team. I don’t miss the long days on set, but I do question “starting over” at all. Why does 36 feel so old sometimes? Why does charting a new path at this age feel so intimidating? (Okay, I know it’s not that old, but man, the social-media-saturated-culture-of-success struggle is still real.)

Anyway, I don’t have any profound answers to the fear right now, other than to offer a hearty “Amen!” to Jon’s words,

“People are mistaken when they think chasing your dream is a selfish thing to do. As if perhaps being average is an act of humility. As if perhaps wasting the talents you were given is proof that you’re a considerate individual.

It’s not.”

I don’t want to waste the time, resources, or talent that God has put in my care. I want to be a good steward of his gifts, even if starting over is a little scary.

(If you’re considering a change and interested in reading Jon’s book, I highly recommend it!)

 

 

Style Me September (One Week In)

style me sept

As if you didn’t already know this, but September is traditionally fashion month. (Because I know “fashion month” is at the top of your priority list…) New York Fashion Week always happens in September and the “September issue” of Vogue is always the thickest and glossiest issue of all. It’s also back-to-school month, which stirs up nostalgia for picking out that first day of school look. Do you remember what you wore to the first day of seventh grade? I do. A black a-line skirt dotted with tiny colorful flowers paired with a black, short sleeved mock-neck sweater from The Limited (and probably low cut sneakers.) I would 100% wear that outfit today.

This September, I’ve decided to route some of my creative energy to my wardrobe. My goals are to 1.) figure out what pieces I don’t wear (or hesitate to wear) and 2.) get more creative with the pieces that I do wear. Here I’m sharing the custom method that I’m crafting as I go along (feel free to implement one or all of these suggestions to your closet!)

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Thoughts on the French/Ahmari debate (or, why the struggle for conservatism will endure)

Did y’all watch the David French vs. Sohrab Ahmari debate last Thursday? I finally got around to watching the replay (above) over the weekend and boy howdy was it fun.*

(*Fun is a relative term. Do you find political/religious pundits trying not to punch each other in front of a tense crowd, fun? If so, you’ll love this!)

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SHARED: How To Write by Elizabeth Gilbert — via swissmiss

1) Tell your story TO someone. Pick one person you love or admire or want to connect with, and write the whole thing directly to them —like you’re writing a letter. 327 more words

I caught this on Elizabeth Gilbert’s Instagram account last week and loved it so much that I stashed it in my “Saved” tab. So glad to catch it here via swissmiss and be able to share it with y’all.  For the full post: How To Write by Elizabeth Gilbert — swissmiss

when walking by faith prompts the question, “Is this worth it?”

worth it

I look at the clock again. How is it that time already? Where had the last 45 minutes gone? I’m scrambling to finish the task I am doing, one of about a thousand that requires me to do it, my hands and my feet, and not anyone else. My pace quickens as I throw in another load of laundry, picking up items on the way to be distributed to their original places.

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three things: for thinking women

Here’s the thing about blog writing. It gets under your skin a bit and seeps into the corners of your life. You may be living a perfectly normal day: refilling another cup of coffee, responding to an email, taking a walk to the mailbox, choosing the right pair of shoes for the busy day ahead…and then THE question weasels its way in-between the daily tasks, “Should I write about this?”

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